رایتینگی که ۸٫۵ گرفته است!
اشتباهات ذیل باعث میشود نمره شما حداکثر تا ۶ بالا بیاید و نه بیشتر.- پوشش ندادن هر سه بولت پوینت به طور کامل
- استفاده از ” لحن ” نامناسب برای مورد خطاب قرار دادن شخصی که نامه برای او نوشته میشود
- استفاده از خط تیره یا شماره بندی یا دایره های سیاه کوچک یا تیتر در آغاز پاراگراف ها.
- نوشتن کمتر از صد و پنجاه واژه
- استفاده از کلیشه های بی ربط به موضوع
تکلیف:
با در نظر گرفتن نکات فوق، سعی کنید در بیست دقیقه پاسخ تسک یک زیر را بنویسید:Write a letter to the manager of the hospital your father had a surgery in . N1. Complain about high prices . N2. Complain about the hygiene . N3. Thank for the skillful surgeons and the good job
در زیر نمونه‌ای که در پاسخ سوال فوق نمره ۸٫۵ گرفته است را ارائه کرده ایم:
دقت کنید که این فقط یک شیوه نوشتن پاسخ است، و تا زمانی که شما به فاکتورهای نمره دهی کاملاً توجه کنید، بی نهایت پاسخ درست با نمره کامل وجود خواهد داشت., Dear Dr Johnson
I am writing to complain about some thorny issues in your hospital and at the same time present my wholehearted gratitudes to the adroitness of your esteemed surgeons
My father underwent an open heart surgery last week in your hospital. He was discharged yesterday after a week of hospitalization in your cardiovascular ward. While discharging him, I was forced to pay a sum of money more than one agreed upon by the insurance company and your financial deputy. The latter gave me no elucidations whatsoever of the reasons for paying three thousand pounds more. What added an insult to the injury was the terrible hygienic situation of the CCU ward my father was bound in. When visiting my old man, his brother noticed two cockroches dancing about in the cardiovascular care unit corridor! I was dumb when I was asked about it by my uncle! When the matron was later wanted by her head to check things out, she just gave us a cold shoulder
You are, Sir, the presiding chair of the most prestigious heart hospital in the nation. The doctors and surgeons working under you are of superb skills: Dr Nelson has done a breathtakingly beautiful job on my father’s chest on which you can publish an epitome of a heart surgery article emphasizeing the mastery of the surgeons. I am really confident that you will never let the abovementioned problems overshadow the overall outstanding performance of your hospital. I am deeply awaiting a paradigm-shifting scenario which restores quality to your hospital
Your due considerations would be highly appreciated
, Sincerely Yours John Smith
Examiner’s comments
Task Achievement 9
The writer’s purpose and position are clear and well-developed. All the bullet points are effectively addressed, typical of high level writers. Nothing could reasonably be added or taken away from this response without harming its structure
Coherence and Cohesion 9
The message can be followed with ease. Cohesion is achieved effectively through referencing and it attracts no attention. Paragraphing is skillfully managed
Lexical Resource 8
A very wide Lexical Resource is used skillfully. There are occasional lapses in word choice and collocation which prevents the award of a band 9 for this criterion
Grammatical Range and Accuracy 8
A very wide range of sentence structures is used. “Most” (not all) of the sentences are error free, though occasional non systematic errors occur: punctuation mistakes , redundant definite articles and an over use of subordination