American Stories – Part 36

Transcript of the podcast

Our story is called “The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County.” It was written by Mark Twain. Here is Shep O’Neal with the story

A friend of mine in the East asked me to visit old Simon Wheeler, to ask about my friends friend, Leonidas W. Smiley. I did as my friend asked me to do and this story is the result

.I found Simon Wheeler sleeping by the stove in the ruined mining camp of Angels

I saw that he was fat and had no hair, and had a gentle and simple look upon his peaceful face. He woke up, and gave me good-day

I told him a friend had asked me to find out about a friend named Leonidas W. Smiley, who he heard was at one time living in Angels Camp. I added that if Mr. Wheeler could tell me anything about this Leonidas W. Smiley, I would feel a great responsibility to him

Simon Wheeler forced me into a corner with his chair and began telling me this long story. He never smiled, he never frowned. But all through the endless story there was a feeling of great seriousness and honesty. This showed me plainly that he thought the heroes of the story were men of great intelligence

.I let him go on in his own way, and never stopped him once. This is the story Simon Wheeler told

Leonidas W. …. hm… Le… well, there was a man here once by the name of Jim Smiley, in the winter of 1849 — or may be it was the spring of 1850. Anyway, he was the strangest man. He was always making money on anything that turned up if he could get anybody to try to make money on the other side. And if he could not do that, he would change sides

And he was lucky, uncommon lucky. He most always was a winner. If there was a dog-fight, he would try to win money on it. If there was a cat-fight, he would take the risk. If there was a chicken-fight, he would try to win money on it. Why, if there was two birds setting on a fence, he would want you to decide which one would fly first so he could win money

Lots of the boys here have seen that Smiley and can tell you about him. Why, it did not matter to him. He would try to make money on anything. He was the most unusual man. Parson Walker’s wife was very sick once, for a long time, and it seemed as if they were not going to save her

But one morning he come in, and Smiley asked him how was his wife, and he said she was better, thank God. And Smiley, before he thought, says, Well, I’ll risk my money she will not get well

And Smiley had a little small dog. To look at the dog, you would think he was not worth anything but to sit around and look mean and look for a chance to steal something. But as soon as there was money, he was a different dog. Another dog might attack and throw him around two or three times. Then all of a sudden Smiley’s dog would grab that other dog by his back leg and hang on till the men said it was over

Smiley always come out the winner on that dog, at least until he found a dog once that did not have any back legs. The dog’s legs had been cut off in a machine. Well, the fighting continued long enough, and the money was gone. Then when Smiley’s dog come to make a grab (at) the other dog’s back legs, he saw in a minute how there was a problem

The other dog was going to win and Smiley’s dog looked surprised and did not try to win the fight anymore. He gave Smiley a look that said he was sorry for fighting a dog that did not have any back legs for him to hold, which he needed to win a fight. Then Smiley’s dog walked away, laid down and died. He was a good dog, and would have made a name for himself if he had lived, for he had intelligence. It always makes me feel sorry when I think of that last fight of his and the way it turned out

Well, this Smiley had rats, and chickens, and cats and all of them kind of things. You could not get anything for him to risk money on but he would match you. He caught a frog one day, and took him home, and said he was going to educate the frog. And so he never done nothing for three months but sit in his back yard and teach that frog to jump. And you bet you he did teach him, too

He would give him a little hit from behind. And the next minute you would see that frog dancing in the air and then come down all on his feet and all right, like a cat. Smiley got him so the frog was catching flies, and he would catch one of those insects every time

Smiley said all a frog wanted was education, and he could do almost anything. And I believe him. Why, I have seen him set Dan’l Webster down here on this floor—Dan’l Webster was the name of the frog — and sing out, “Flies, Dan’l, flies!” And quicker than you could shut your eyes that frog would jump straight up and catch a fly off the table. Then he would fall down on the floor again like a ball of dirt and start rubbing the side of his head with his back foot as if he had no idea he had been doing any more than any frog might do

You never seen a frog so honest and simple as he was, for all he was so skilled. And when it come to jumping, he could get over more ground in one jump than any animal of his kind that you ever saw

Smiley was very proud of his frog, and people who had traveled and been everywhere all said he was better than any frog they had ever seen

?Well, one day a stranger came in and says to Smiley, What might be that you have got in the box

And Smiley says, It’s only just a frog. And the man took it, and looked at it careful, and turned it round this way and that, and says, Hm, so it is. Well, what is he good for

.Well, Smiley says, easy and careless, he can out jump any frog in Calaveras county

The man took the box again, and took another long look, and gave it back to Smiley, and says, Well, I don’t see anything about that frog that is any better than any other frog

Maybe you don’t, Smiley says. Maybe you understand frogs and maybe you don’t. Anyways, I will risk forty dollars and bet you that he can jump farther than any frog in Calaveras County

And the man studied a minute. Well, I’m only a stranger here, and I do not have a frog. But if I had a frog, I would risk my money on it

And then Smiley says, That’s all right. If you will hold my box a minute, I will go and get you a frog. And so the man took the box, and put up his forty dollars and sat down to wait

He sat there a long time thinking and thinking. Then he got the frog out of the box. He filled its mouth full of bullets used to kill small birds. Then he put the frog on the floor

Now Smiley had caught another frog and gave it to the man and said, Now sit him next to Dan’l and I will give the word

.Then Smiley says, “One-two-three-go!” and Smiley and the other man touched the frogs

The new frog jumped. Dan’l just lifted up his body but could not move at all. He was planted like a building. Smiley was very surprised and angry too. But he did not know what the problem was

The other man took the money and started away. And when he was going out the door, he looked back and said Well, I don’t see anything about that frog that is any better than any other frog

Smiley stood looking down at Dan’l a long time, and at last says, I wonder what in the nation happened to that frog. I wonder if there is something wrong with him

And he picked up Dan’l and turned him upside down and out came a whole lot of bullets. And Smiley was the angriest man. He set the frog down and took out after that man but he never caught him

Now Simon Wheeler heard his name called and got up to see what was wanted. He told me to wait but I did not think that more stories about Jim Smiley would give me any more information about Leonidas W. Smiley, and so I started to walk away

At the door I met Mr. Wheeler returning, and he started talking again. Well, this here Smiley had a yellow cow with one eye and no tail

.However, lacking both time and interest, I did not wait to hear about the cow. I just left

Words in This Story

most always

adv. US, informal; almost always

Dan’l

n. abbreviation of a given name, Daniel

anyways

adv. US, informal; anyway

studied a minute

v. US, informal; thought a minute

get you a frog

v. US, informal; get a frog for you

plant

v. to put or place (something or yourself) firmly or forcefully on a surface or in a particular position